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Many people know far more about English grammar than I, so should you detect a failing in this area on my part, please, notify me.

Some verbs (or “doing words”) are readily recognisable, e.g., run, jump, throw…while others are not so easily detectable.

These include: am, is, was, were, has, have, had, did, do, done.

Sometimes these act as auxiliary (or “helping”) verbs which precede other verbs, e.g., I do think; he is arriving; have they paid?

In the above instances ‘do think’, ‘is arriving’, ‘have…paid’ are examples of what some people term “double verbs”.

The double verb ‘is arriving’ consists of the auxiliary verb ‘is’ and the present participle ‘arriving’. Using the past tense ‘is arriving’ would become ‘had arrived’, with ‘had’ being the auxiliary verb and ‘arrived’, the past participle.

Do you remember yesteryear when the age before an Australian could vote in a political election was twenty-one?

How did it ever get lowered to just eighteen?

All too regularly we hear about the immaturity that is on display from young adults. Commentators all too often respond inarticulately with utterances that pertain to giving these individuals “a break” or refer to their need to be “cut some slack” because “they’re only young”.

Young, yes, but still old enough to legally cast a vote!

Additionally, and without wanting to degrade those who do, many people in their late teens possess little knowledge of the real world around them. One only has to watch many of the current quiz shows to realise that the questions have been diluted and set in accordance with this fact.

Now that alcoholism amongst our young is such a major problem and drain upon our society, why not raise the legal age at which one can imbibe to twenty-one and reinstate the age at which one can vote, simultaneously?

Today’s children are unfortunately having their vocabularies emasculated by adults who should be more mindful. They resort to using a seemingly almost endless array of trite and hackneyed expressions that bare no resemblance to the usage that they should be conveying to the young.

The singer/songwriter, Joe South, in his successful recording of 1969, “Games People Play”, makes mention of people ‘Never saying what they mean now’.

In a somewhat different context, today, nothing could be closer to the truth.

I have spent a considerable time attempting to decipher what the users of some of these expressions might actually be attempting to convey, in terms of acceptable English.

check out (observe, investigate)

good to go (ready, prepared)

get-go (commencement, beginning)

hit town (reached, arrived)

hit the ground running ( commenced with purpose or haste)

listen up (concentrate, become silent)

blown away (astonished, amazed, exhilarated)

back-to-back/straight/in a row (successive, consecutive)

talk/run me through (explain, describe, elucidate)

down the track (henceforth, foreseeable future, forthcoming))

doing it tough (struggling, enduring)

up to speed (brief, inform, make knowledgeable)

run the tests (conduct)

only way to go (imperative, advisable, essential, acceptable)

won’t end well (ill fated, disastrous)

thinking this one (referring to, selecting, considering, contemplating)

step up to the plate (survive, manage, volunteer)

cut some slack (tolerate, be considerate)

tapped out/cracked (reached, ascended to, peaked)

made good (succeeded)

game-changer (pivotal, essential, vital)

doesn’t come cheap (is expensive, dear, costly)

measuring up (performing)

must-see (compulsory, imperative)

over the top (extravagant, outrageous, ostentatious)

heaps (numerous, many, extremely)

heaps tough (extremely difficult, demanding, challenging, enervating, exhausting)

all over the shop (haywire, erratic, uncontrollable, unpredictable)

above board (legitimate, legal, lawful, conscionable, just)

How come? (Why?)

go with (support, select, choose)

up and down (inconsistent, varied, vacillated)

get on board (join, combine, unite, partake of, assist, enrol, collaborate)

pick up (intensify, strengthen)

picking up (detecting, identifying)

level playing field (fairness, equality, parity)

a bunch of (an array, a display, numerous, a variety, a plethora, glut, abundance)

up front (forthright, frank, open, initially, a deposit, in advance)

run with it (accept, embrace, act expeditiously, be progressive, far-sighted, futuristic)

on the same page (in agreement, concur)

whistle-stop (fleeting, ephemeral)

messed up (confused, disillusioned, behaved mistakenly)

think outside the square/box (be creative, unconventional, imaginative)

the only way to go (prudent, sensible, obvious, desirable, logical, the only alternative)

pick up the ball and run with it (be determined, progressive, far-sighted, futuristic)

no-win situation (hopeless, undesirable, unenviable, imperfect situation; an impasse)

did a runner (fled, bolted, absconded)

jump on (access, board, enplane)

make it big (succeed, achieve, be successful, become renowned)

set the bar high (excel, raise the standard of significantly, aspire)

stand out from the crowd (be unlike, different, unique, display individuality)

go-to (dependable, reliable, knowledgeable, forthright)

up and running (operating, operational, effective)

anytime soon (shortly, in the foreseeable future)

Today’s children are having their vocabularies emasculated by adults, who should be more mindful, using a seemingly endless array of trite and hackneyed expressions that bare no or little resemblance to the usage that they should be seeking.

Australian children’s skills in writing are at a nadir. Is this any wonder when our adults continually bombard them with this drivel?!

Try and instill in your children a love of words from an early age. Begin with short words such as rue, coy…and encourage them to use them in their writings.

Coax them to learn a new word every week or fortnight. Introduce them to crossword puzzles.

Do not depend on their teachers to do this for you. Few will.

 

 

1. Mona Lisa (1950)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Nat ‘King’ Cole
2. Mama Weer All Crazee Now (1972)                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Slade
3. Soul Man (1967)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Sam and Dave
4. Reet Petite (The Finest Girl You Ever Want To Meet) (1957 & 1986)                                                                                                                                                             Jackie Wilson
5. Simply Irresistible (1988)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Robert Palmer
6. Minnie The Moocher (1931)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Cab Calloway and his Orchestra
7. Roses Are Red (My Love) (1962)                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Bobby Vinton
8. Up Where We Belong (1982)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes
9. I’m Crying (1964)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     The Animals
10. The Most Wanted Man In The U.S.A. (1975)                                                                                                                                                                                                       Joe Dolan
11. Cherish (1985)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Kool and The Gang
12. Little Egypt (Ying-Yang) (1961)                                                                                                                                                                                                                               The Coasters
13. Don’t Pay The Ferryman (1982)                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Chris De Burgh
14. Comes A-Long A-Love (1952)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Kay Starr
15. While My Guitar Gently Weeps (1968)                                                                                                                                                                                                                The Beatles
16. Can’t You See That She’s Mine (1964)                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The Dave Clark Five
17. Bumble Boogie (1946)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Freddie Martin
18. The One In The Middle (2007)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Sarah Johns
19. As Long As He Needs Me (1960)                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Shirley Bassey
20. Look Away (1988)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Chicago
21. I’m Ready (1954)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Muddy Waters
22. Pleasure And Pain (1985)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           The Divinyls
23. Love, Love, Love (1956)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The Clovers
24. Lily The Pink (1968)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The Scaffold
25. Power To All Our Friends (1973)                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Cliff Richard
26. (Remember Me) I’m The One Who Loves You (1950)                                                                                                                                                                                         Ernest Tubb
27. Across The Street (Is A Million Miles Away) (1965)                                                                                                                                                                                           Ray Peterson
28. Get The Party Started (2001)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     P!nk
29. The More I See You (1966)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Chris Montez
30. Whip It (1980)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Devo
31. The House Of Blue Lights (1946)                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Freddie Slack & Ella Mae Morse
32. Sadie The Cleaning Lady (1967)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Johnny Farnham
33. Bop-A-Lena (1958)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Ronnie Self
34. Move It On Over (1947)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Hank Williams
35. I Can’t Get Started (1938)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Bunny Berigan and his Orchestra
36. Wake Up Everybody (1975)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Harold Melvin and The Bluenotes
37. My Babe (1967)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Ronnie Dove
38. I Won’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me (1983)                                                                                                                                                                                                          Nik Kershaw
39. Just A Little Bit Lonesome (1956)                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Bobby Helms
40. Mona Lisa (1959)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Conway Twitty

Our once expressive language is inexorably being reduced, in mathematical terminology, to its lowest common denominator, with the accent very much on the word ‘common’.

A further example of this is the verb pick, which almost solely pertained to the removal of fruit or flowers. One might also have picked at one’s nose or even at a scab.

Nowadays, it has almost universally deposed the verbs select and choose. In the past, a team was formed via a process of selection — hence the common noun, selector. One chose what to eat, buy, wear or do.

One did not pick. Nor did one ‘go’ for something, as in “go (for) number four” or “go (for) the green”. Go is a verb that signifies the act of leaving or departing.

 

When I was in my late teens, I lived in a residential dormitory for two years with thirty-one other males. One of whom was engaged to be married. Therefore, when he quite unexpectedly invited me into his room one day I had no trepidation in doing so. That was until he locked the door behind me, lay down on his bed, pulled down his shorts and asked to fondle him.

What shocked me most of all was the fact that his fiancee was on a tennis court one hundred yards distant, blissfully unaware of what he was requiring of me.

I was so shocked and repulsed that all I could think of doing was to threaten to yell and scream at the top of my voice and after I had promised never to mention what had just occurred to anyone else he opened the door and released me.

Decades later, I read in a newspaper of how he had been accused by male students of acting inappropriately towards them in a dark room during a lesson in Photography.

It was July of 1974 when I had to move from the house of the octogenarian couple because they were about to place their place on the market. When I informed her that a gentleman just a few doors down the street had offered me a room in which to board, she advised me to be wary of the offer without offering any further comment.

Nevertheless, the gentleman had always appeared friendly and, besides, I was not looking forward to repeatedly loading and unloading my ample belongings into and out of my two-door Volkswagen ‘Beetle’. Additionally, the move also negated the paraphernalia associated with finding somewhere else in which to live.

Doug, a handsome young man of fine physique, even assisted me with the conveyance of my personal effects. He, too, was a boarder at the house and when he announced that I was moving in with, in his words, “a pair of poofs”, he certainly was not overstating the case. Doug always maintained that he was a heterosexual and that Bob and Ron had been friends of his family for a lengthy time and, during my stay, I was given no reason to doubt his veracity.

The house was really impressive, with tasteful decor and furnishings. Moveable lights were attached to tracks laid into the ceiling of the loungeroom, and the views of Sydney Harbour were quite mesmirising.

Not only were the doors devoid of locks, there were no handles even on the shared bathroom that was adjacent to my room. The subsequent circular holes were presumably there for anyone who had the urge or desire to peep.

Still, unlike during my year or more with the elderly couple I had just left, my meals were prepared for me and life, in general, was pretty good. What did not sit so well, however, was the fact that as the months passed it became more and more evident that the pair was totally amoral.

Under-aged teenagers would be brought to the house where they would be fed, made to feel at home and (how shall I say?) ‘entertained’. Usually, within a week, they would be returned to from whence they had come. This cycle would reoccur, but not on a continual basis.

Bob possessed an incredible personality and, as a salesman, he would complete his daily schedule in a matter of just a few hours, thereby allowing him to engage the men who would come and go. He would regularly brag about the fact that many of them were married with children.

Something I found to be even more incredulous was the fact that from their outward physical appearance I would never have suspected them of being of that persuasion.

Just when I believed that matters could not have become any more depraved, I learned that, at weekends, the pair would volunteer to work amongst young children.

What I could not understand, was how Ron, at least outwardly, did not appear jealous in regards to what Bob was indulging himself in whilst he was busily at work from nine to five.

One evening I was sitting in the loungeroom, amid a group that had gathered, when the pair began to screen a film, which, in its opening minutes showed the anal insertion of berries and cherries. It was at that point in time that my presence was suddenly realised and I was instructed to leave. I did not know from where such material was being obtained, but I did notice that the pair expressed an attraction to the German city of Frankfurt and the need to return there.

Being enamoured, at that time, of Cat Stevens’ classic album, ‘Tea For The Tillerman’, I decided to literally embark on the “Road To Find Out” and, therefore, left on the 7th of November to drive almost aimlessly in my ‘Beetle’. Upon my return, exactly a calendar month later, the vehicle’s odometer showed that I had driven eight thousand and fifteen miles at an average of of nearly two hundred and sixty miles per day.

The fact that I had driven so obsessively, convinced me that I was really in need of a break and a more relaxing holiday. However, despite the fact that I had gone ahead and sold my car for five hundred and twenty-five dollars in order to pay for my airfares to and from New Zealand, Bob and Ron informed me that because, in their words, I was “straight” I had to vacate the house prior to my date of departure.

Fortunately, I successfully pleaded with them to be allowed to pay them the thirty dollars per week, in advance, in order to secure my room during my seven weeks’ absence.

One morning, before I was told that I was no longer welcome to stay, Bob had brought a young nubile woman into the house. The pair, in a move that I believed was preconceived, began to shower together in the bathroom that was juxtaposed to my room. Before long she began to release a repertoire of all the orgasmic utterances that she could muster, designed solely by Bob in a desperate attempt to get his hands (and goodness knows what else!) on my person. She persisted for all of, perhaps, fifteen minutes.

All of the while my willpower fought the almost insuperable urge to be in that shower with her, especially as I did not have a girlfriend at that time. I regarded Bob’s actions to be both despicable and perverse, but because we were under the one roof, kept my opinion to myself.

During Australia’s postal referendum, organised under the government of Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, on marriage between people of the same sex or gender citizens were virtually gagged from speaking their minds because, in our democracy, there was imposed the threat of a fine of up to twelve thousand dollars for anyone deemed to be doing so. There were instances of forms being stolen from people’s letter boxes. People could state that they had not received their forms or had incorrectly filled theirs in and apply up until a certain date in late October to apply for a replacement. Nevertheless, without vigorous and forthright debate on the subject at hand, the outcome, to what has rightfully been a waste of one hundred and twenty-five million dollars, has never been in doubt and is to be officially announced on the 15th November.

No one, therefore, mentioned anything about how just seven per cent of couple’s of the same sex remain in a monogamous relationship. It has been said that the sudden onset of such marriages here will boost the country’s economy by eighty billion dollars. I predict that once the marriage celebrants, businesses that host receptions, the caterers and honeymoon destinations have had their fill, the next big winners will be the lawyers. The biggest losers, of course, could be the children of many such unions. I certainly hope that this shall not be the case.

We know of a septuagenarian whose daughter is a lesbian. She’s freely admitted to Tiki that she’s always found it hard to accept her daughter’s sexuality. This was compounded more recently when she was given her daughter’s computer, second hand, only to find that the many repulsive sexual downloads that her daughter had believed had been erased, had not been, after all.

Although the daughter and her partner have since separated, there remains disagreement between the pair as to when and whether the two children in the relationship should be accessed. Additionally, the estranged partner is reportedly refusing to contribute maintenance towards the upkeep of the two children.

As for the right of such couples to marry being all about equality and nothing else! How can there ever be equality? To begin with heterosexuals do not see the need to parade about with a flag, especially one that is based on one of nature’s most natural and visually beautiful spectacles.

Secondly, heterosexuals have far more self-pride than to overtly parade in public often in lewd, skimpy outfits.

Thirdly, we don’t turn on our own kind, branding them as homophobic, should they express an opinion that is not in agreement with our own; unlike the same-sex supporters did when a homosexual couple appeared on ABC-TV to advocate that people should vote ‘No’ in the referendum.

Fourthly, I’ve already mentioned that only some seven per cent remain monogamous, far below the percentage of that attained by heterosexual couples.

The time was, not so long ago, when we would use words such as capsised, somersaulted, cartwheeled, overturned or even rolled to describe an object that had careered wildly out of control.

Now our reporters can bring to mind just one word: flipped.

Is this the best our supposedly erudite presenters and their scriptwriters can do?

The use of any word greater than five or six letters appears to be becoming increasingly frowned upon. For example, the word conversely has become replaced by the trite “on the flip side”.

Those of us in this world who still possess the ability to express ourselves adequately, know what happens to the brain when its capacity is not regularly utilised.

Although I felt quite warm in my jumper and coat, I did not think that the maximum had reached  twenty-three Celsius, which is some seven degrees above the seasonal average.

‘Last Refuge: The North American Rockies’ is this evening’s offering on “Last Of The Wild”. “John Denver In Hollywood” appears on Channel Seven from half past seven. Its guests include the actress, Joanne Woodward and Dennis “Gunsmoke”/”Kentucky Jones”/”Gentle Ben”/”McCloud” Weaver.

At half past eight the First Test was screened live from Lord’s. Mike Brearley and Dennis Amiss opened the batting for England against the bowling of Jeff Thomson and Len Pascoe. Amiss had scored four when he was bowled by Thomson and at a quarter past nine when I left the coverage to retire for the night, England’s score was 1-12.

Time was when an Australian could express an opposing opinion to a compatriot and that person would more than likely respond with something akin to this: “It ‘s a free country. You’re entitled to your view.”

Not any more.

Perhaps it’s because Australia hasn’t experienced a recession in twenty-six years that many of its people have seemingly become almost perpetual whingers. This is in spite of the average wage being around $AUD78,000 per annum. If they genuinely believe that this country isn’t for them anymore, I would like to see them live a better life in England where the wage is about the equivalent of $AUD33,000 and the cost of living comparable. It is no coincidence that 130,000 people have migrated here in the past three months. It’s not always how much one earns, but rather how much one saves and how these savings are invested.

I have also grown tiresome of hearing how much stress and pressure our children are under. Hello! Experiencing self doubt and anxiety isn’t new. My generation might recall that there were schools where pupils sometimes had to persevere in classes where a teacher(s) was sadistic and corporal punishment was the norm rather than the exception.

My younger sister and I attended a primary school that was sixteen miles distant. The school bus didn’t come to our door so we had to ride our bikes two miles to meet it. The fourteen miles was then covered in the back of a panel van which had no fixed seating and seat belts were unheard of. Each afternoon this had to be repeated, in the reverse order of course, whether it was the height of summer or the depths of winter.

Sometimes in winter there was so much rheum in our eyes that we could scarcely detect the dirt road in front of our bikes. There were no such things as helmets, so when the magpies were breeding we’d just lower our heads and pedal as speedily as we could.

When we would arrive home there was no such thing as electricity in our house. No flushing toilet, no such thing as a shower and, invariably, we would each receive just a kettle of tank water in which to bathe.

I won’t even begin to tell you what our father put us through.

Fifteen was the age when I first left school. By this time we lived in the city and my father wanted me to get a job and bring some money into the household. Conversely, my mother wanted me to remain at school. It was agreed that I should attempt to placate both of them and hence for sixteen months, five days per week, I would arise at seven in the morning and sleep from eleven o’clock, having arrived home from the aptly named night school.

Don’t tell me that today’s children experience a more stressful life than those of past generations. Perhaps, if our p0liticians and educators spent more time in attempting to raise our children’s ability to actually learn, rather than spend so much of it on ways in which to mollycoddle them, then our schools’ standards might rise and this nation’s educational standing might also rise to above twenty-fifth, where it is ranked globally.

Toughen up Australia, this country doesn’t owe you anything!

 

So the Australian government has realised what a succession of previous such governments had failed to recognise or heed, namely that this country’s use,or rather abuse, of the English language has to be reversed and, hopefully, restored to its status of yesteryear.

Yesteryear, when the word bunch was a collective noun for flowers or grapes (or, occasionally, perhaps, fives) but nowadays is used to the exclusion, it would seem, of just about every other collective noun.

As if the use of ‘bunch’ with total disregard isn’t bad enough, the word has metamorphosised to become ‘a whole bunch’.

Pray, tell me. At what stage does a bunch become ‘a whole bunch’? Ten, eleven, twenty-five…?

Or when does ‘a whole bunch’ become ‘a whole new bunch’?

Please. Spare me.