Tongue In Cheek

Tiki and I were watching television, when she queried for what did ‘Q1’ on its ticker stand.

“The first quarter of the new financial year,” I informed her.

“Well, what do they call it when they shorten everything?”, she persisted.

“Illiteracy!”, I replied with a smile.

The Top 40 Fantasies: No. 33

  1. Sixty-Minute Man (1951) The Dominoes
  2. The Music Goes Round And Round (1935) Tommy Dorsey and his Orchestra ; vocalist: Edythe Wright, plus dialogue with Tommy
  3. Wonderland By Night (1960) Bert Kaempfert and his Orchestra
  4. Put Your Head On My Shoulder (1959) Paul Anka
  5. The Carnival Is Over (1965) The Seekers
  6. Glad All Over (1963) The Dave Clark Five
  7. Jim Dandy !956) LaVern Baker
  8. I’ll Walk Alone (1944) Dina Shaw
  9. Feel So Good (1955) Shirley And Lee
  10. A Change Is Gonna Come (1965) Sam Cooke
  11. Take My Breath Away (1986) Berlin
  12. Dim Dim The Lights (I Want Some Atmosphere ) (1954) Bill Haley and his Comets
  13. Time Is Tight (1969) Booker T. And the M.G’s
  14. It’s Too Soon To Know (1948) The Orioles
  15. Yesterday, When I Was Young (1969) Roy Clark
  16. Doctor My Eyes (1972) Jackson Browne
  17. Sweeter Than You (1959) The Gaylords
  18. The Valley Of Tears (1957) Fats Domino
  19. The Thrill Is Gone (1931) Rudy Vallee and his Connecticut Yankees
  20. The Streak (1974) Ray Stevens
  21. Send Me Some Lovin’ (1957) Little Richard
  22. Swingin’ On Nothin’ (1941) Jo Stafford
  23. Kissin’ Bug Boogie (1951) “Tennessee” Ernie Ford and The Dinning Sisters
  24. Electric Avenue (1983) Eddy Grant
  25. Sexual Healing (1982) Marvin Gaye
  26. Ooby Dooby (1956) Roy Orbison, with The Teen Kings
  27. Jim Dandy Got Married (1957) LaVern Baker
  28. One Step Ahead (1980) Split Enz
  29. (Shake,Shake,Shake) Shake Your Booty (1976) KC and The Sunshine Band
  30. Matchbox (1957) Carl Perkins
  31. That’s What My Heart Needs (1963) Otis Reading
  32. Good Lovin’ Gone Bad (1975) Bad Company
  33. Ruff Mix (1982) The Wender Dogs
  34. Can’t Touch This (1990) M C Hammer
  35. Rule The World (2007) Take That
  36. The Boys Are Back In Town (1976) Thin Lizzy
  37. Yummy Yummy Yummy (1968) The Ohio Express
  38. School’s Out (1972) Alice Cooper
  39. If You Remember Me (1979) Chris Thompson
  40. Big Dream (1962) Rayburn Anthony

Swimming With The Stingrays

We don’t know whether it is still possible to do so, but if it is we highly recommend that one swims with the stingrays when visiting the French Polynesian island of Moorea.

The organisers of the experience had the stingrays gather in waist-deep water and we spent perhaps half to three-quarters of an hour with them. They seemed to take it in turns to come up behind us and wrap their ‘wings’ around our respective shoulders. The skin on their undersides felt like silk and when we’d turn our heads their countenances appeared to be smiling at us.

They were accompanied by black-tipped reef sharks, however, these kept their distance and just when one would turn to swim towards us, it would dart away just as swiftly.

Tiki enjoyed herself so much that she didn’t want to leave when it was time to return to the shore.

Naturally, interacting with any animal in its own environment, can come with an inherent risk and, therefore, this should be at the forefront of one’s mind, before undertaking such a venture.

We were warned, prior to entering the water, not to lift our feet, but rather to shuffle them.

‘The Beatles’ Top The List!: Sunday, 15th May, 1977

After what was a windy, wet and spooky night, and with the rain continuing to fall, I listened to the highlights from John Laws’ radio programme of last week. From 10.00 a.m., it was the turn of “American Top Forty”, compered by Casey Kasem, to occupy my attention. This week it is counting down “The Top 40 American Hits Of The Beatles’ Era”.

In the period from 1964 to 1970 the top three selling singles were: “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” (B.J. Thomas; 1969) at No.3; “Sugar, Sugar” (The Archies: 1969) at No.2; with “Hey Jude” (The Beatles; 1968) atop the list.

At one o’clock, on television, Australia’s renowned underwater cameraman Ben Cropp — who for a year or two in the early sixties taught at the high school I attended — appears in his documentary, “Who Did Discover Australia?”, which is followed, at two, by another of his, in the form of “Voyage To The Coral Sea”.

The surf movie, “Beach Blanket Bingo”, from 1965, screens from half past three and features Frankie Avalon, Annette Funicello and comedian, Paul Lynde, who really doesn’t even have to open his mouth to make one smile.

It continues to teem outside as the wind continues to whistle.

From half past six there is a replay of last year’s grand final, in the rugby league, as today’s full round of matches was washed out. Manly-Warringah defeated Parramatta by thirteen points to ten after the teams had been locked at seven all at half-time.

The police series, “Hawaii Five-O”, is screened from half past seven and, an hour later, James Coburn and Lee Remick appear in “Hard Contract”, a film that bears the copyright of 1969.

Cliff Richard has arrived in Sydney, from New Zealand.

An Unwise Act!

Tiki was perusing the guide for viewers of television when she noted that one of the programmes on offer was the film, ‘How To Murder Your Wife’, from circa 1965. As I was seated nearby, I was immediately warned of how it was not to provide me with such motivation.

“Only fools would contemplate such an idea, for to do so would mean they’d have to do everything themselves!”, I quipped.

Stroke The Cheetah, Slap The Lioness!

When we visited Mauritius, we paid to stroke a cheetah, as well as walk with the lions. We were the only ones in our party to opt to do both.

We were taken to an open field where we met with two men and two untethered cheetahs. Both animals lay on their sides with their heads raised. One of the men informed us that they had listened to the animals’ breathing in order to determine the mood of each and, therefore, we were only allowed to stroke the side of the one immediately in front of us.

If I were to say I was not somewhat hesitant, I would be lying! Especially, when I found it difficult to take my eyes off the proximity and length of the animal’s teeth.

Having reunited with those in our party, we were introduced to a lioness of two years, as well as a somewhat mischievous male of one. We set off, as a group, to walk with the pair and, individually, each person was encouraged to hold the lioness’s tail, as we proceeded.

When we did stop, we were encouraged not to simply stroke the ever so patient lioness, but to literally slap her! The head guide told us that to stroke such an animal would be tantamount to the feeling a human might experience should a fly land on their skin.

The mischievous cub must have felt he wasn’t receiving the attention he deserved and proceeded to climb up a tall stump and, for a time, refused to descend.

We were given ample time to take photographs and the filming of events was not restricted in any way.

I must say that the lioness’s patience and tolerance was exceptional! She patiently lay on her left side, as any number of those who wished to partake in vigorously slapping her right side, queued behind her. Neither Tiki nor I, felt any trepidation in repeatedly slapping her when it was our respective turn to do so.

As we were relatively close to the French department of Reunion, we decided to fly there too. Alas! The day we had booked to fly over the island’s volcano our flight encountered dense cloud and the female pilot of the helicopter rightly deemed that it was too dangerous to continue. At least, we were partially refunded for the non-completion of our flight.

During our stay, we did, however, get to peruse the church that had been the victim of a prior eruption’s flow of lava.

We had been unable to fly directly to Mauritius, from Sydney. Instead, we were required to change aeroplanes in Perth. Therefore, we took advantage of this on our way home by spending three days in Perth to witness how it had changed since the early 1970s.

Whilst there, amongst other things, we visited Kings Park, boarded a ferry to travel down the Swan River to the port of Fremantle. Another ferry conveyed us offshore to Rottnest Island, the home of the quokkas. These small wallabies reminded the early Dutch explorers of rats and they consequently named the island with this in mind.

The Top 40 Fantasies: No. 32

  1. Caldonia (1945) Louis Jordan
  2. Let The Heartaches Begin (1967) Long John Baldry
  3. April Love (1957) Pat Boone
  4. Don’t Be That Way (1938) Benny Goodman and his Orchestra
  5. Scatter-Brain (1939) Frankie Masters and his Orchestra
  6. In The Still Of The Night (1937) Tommy Dorsey and his Orchestra; vocalist: Jack Leonard
  7. Oh! Carol (1959) Neil Sedaka
  8. I’ve Got A New Heartache (1956) Ray Price
  9. A Day Without You (1962) Danny Williams
  10. It Takes Two (1967) Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston
  11. Silhouettes (1957) The Rays
  12. Baby, Come Back (1968) The Equals
  13. Silhouettes (1965) Herman’s Hermits
  14. Pamela, Pamela (1966 ) Wayne Fontana
  15. Miss You Nights (1976) Cliff Richard
  16. Hold Tight (1966) Dave Dee, Dozy, Mick and Tich
  17. It Only Hurts For A little While (1956) The Ames Brothers
  18. Still The Same (1978) Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
  19. Don’t It Make You Feel Good (1964) The Overlanders
  20. I Was Only 19 (A Walk In The Light Green) (1983) Redgum
  21. Born Too Late (1958) The Poni-tails
  22. Call Me (1966) Chris Montez
  23. There’s No Other (Like My Baby) (1961) The Crystals
  24. Pamela Brown (1972) Tom T. Hall
  25. Hard To Handle (1968) Otis Redding
  26. Forget Me Not (1958) The Kalin Twins
  27. Ruby Red (1958) The Kingston Trio
  28. The Day Is Done (1969) Peter, Paul and Mary
  29. See My Friend (1969) The Kinks
  30. Look At Me (1958) Buddy Holly
  31. I Take What I Want (1965) Sam and Dave
  32. Half-Breed (1959) Marvin Rainwater
  33. Highway To Hell (1979) AC/DC
  34. Mr. Blue Sky (1978) The Electric Light Orchestra
  35. Viva Forever (1997) The Spice Girls
  36. Black Magic (2015) Little Mix
  37. All Around The World (1989) Lisa Stansfield
  38. Daddy Cool (1976) Boney M
  39. Murder On The Dancefloor (2001)
  40. No Wheels (1958) The Chordettes

Southern Italy

We weren’t sure just how safe southern Italy would be and for that reason we decided to book a tour of five days, prior to our Australian departure.

Our bus happened to seat just eight passengers, a guide and of course, a driver. The tour departed from Rome and after, shall I say, an exhilarative ride along a narrow highway with a precipitous drop to our immediate right, we arrived in the coastal town of Sorrento.

That evening, we were treated to traditional Italian dishes. The waiters just kept coming, as we were served food of a high quality. It almost reached that stage when we felt as though we could not eat another bite.

The following day we travelled across the Bay Of Naples to the famed Isle Of Capri. There we had the privilege of entering the breath-taking Blue Grotto. Something, judging by the seemingly endless queue of those who were hoping to gain access, I felt we would not have achieved had we not been on a tour.

The Grotto to us was the highlight of the tour! This, in spite of us having to lie prone in a rowing boat as our oarsman guided us about. The cavern’s ceiling appeared to be quite high and when, I would occasionally lift my head, I could observe that its waters were, indeed, a magnificent deep blue. The oarsman told us that they possessed a depth of sixty feet.

There was a chairlift on the island and while Tiki decided against riding on it, I did. Each of its seats was for a solo person, with each seat being some ten to fifteen metres distant. It was the serenity of the experience more than any feeling of exhilaration, that I really enjoyed.

Our tour took us as far south as the town of Lecce, which is in the ‘heel’ of Italy. We headed north from there to the town of Alberobello, best known for its unique houses, known as Trullis. The tiny structures possess conical roofs of local stone. One lady gave us permission to enter her home.

Our next stop was the historic town of Matera. It was constructed on a hilltop and our guide allowed us the opportunity to view it from a lookout, prior to us entering one of the town’s ancient houses. I remember her stating that Mel Gibson had select the town in which to film scenes for one of his movies.

Prior to our return to Rome, we visited the ancient site of Pompeii. It was in nearby Naples, that, for the first time, we and our fellow passengers perceived the need to stay relatively close to our guide.

The Top 40 Fantasies: No. 31

  1. Maria (1962) Andy Williams
  2. Drum Stomp (1937) Lionel Hampton and his Orchestra (Cozy Cole on drums)
  3. My Guy (1964) Mary Wells
  4. City Lights (1958) Ray Price
  5. Mr. Sandman (1954) The Chordettes
  6. The Night Has A Thousand Eyes (1962)
  7. Out Of Time (1966) Chris Farlowe
  8. Make The World Go Away (1965) Eddy Arnold
  9. Young Girl (1968) Gary Puckett and The Union Gap
  10. I Got Rhythm (1930) Red Nichols and his Five Pennies; vocalist: Dick Robertson
  11. Don’t Stand So Close To Me (1980) The Police
  12. Make The World Go Away (1963) Timi Yuro
  13. The Lonesome Road (1929) Paul Robeson
  14. Tijuana Taxi (1965) Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass
  15. I Found A New Love (1960) Lonnie Lee and The Leemen
  16. The Lonesome Road (1928) Gene Austin
  17. Song And Dance Man (1974) Mike McClellan
  18. Song And Dance Man (1973) Johnny Paycheck
  19. There Won’t Be Anymore (1973) Charlie Rich
  20. Magic (1974) Pilot
  21. The Man From Laramie (1955) Al Martino
  22. All I Could Do Was Cry (1960) Etta James
  23. California Sun (1964) The Rivieras
  24. Two Less Lonely People In The World (1982) Air Supply
  25. The Day The Rains Came (1958) Jane Morgan
  26. Tricky (1957) Ralph Marterie and his Orchestra
  27. Set Me Free (1980) Utopia
  28. The Bright Side Of The Road (1979) Van Morrison
  29. Year Of The Cat (1977) Al Stewart
  30. On The Road Again (1965) The Lovin’ Spoonful
  31. Travellin’ Blues (1951) Lefty Frizzell
  32. I Ain’t Mad At You (You Ain’t Mad At Me) (1947) Count Basie and his Orchestra: vocalist: Taps Miller
  33. I’ve Got The Milk ‘Em In The Mornin’ Blues (1949) “Tennessee” Ernie Ford
  34. One Night In Heaven (1993) M People
  35. Could It Be Magic (1992) Take That
  36. Last Night (2014) The Vamps
  37. Short Shorts (1958) The Royal Teens
  38. Ice Ice Baby (1990) Vanilla Ice
  39. I Say Love (1968) The Royal Guardsmen
  40. Firework (2010) Katy Perry

Four Eyes?

One of my sister-in-laws once received a call from her father at six o’clock in the morning. He had mislaid his bifocal glasses and needed her to search for them, with immediacy.

Having driven for half an hour, she arrived at his front door only to espy them sitting atop his head!