I’m Over The Rainbow

When I was in my late teens, I lived in a residential dormitory for two years with thirty-one other males. One of whom was engaged to be married. Therefore, when he quite unexpectedly invited me into his room one day I had no trepidation in doing so. That was until he locked the door behind me, lay down on his bed, pulled down his shorts and asked to fondle him.

What shocked me most of all was the fact that his fiancee was on a tennis court one hundred yards distant, blissfully unaware of what he was requiring of me.

I was so shocked and repulsed that all I could think of doing was to threaten to yell and scream at the top of my voice and after I had promised never to mention what had just occurred to anyone else he opened the door and released me.

Decades later, I read in a newspaper of how he had been accused by male students of acting inappropriately towards them in a dark room during a lesson in Photography.

It was July of 1974 when I had to move from the house of the octogenarian couple because they were about to place their place on the market. When I informed her that a gentleman just a few doors down the street had offered me a room in which to board, she advised me to be wary of the offer without offering any further comment.

Nevertheless, the gentleman had always appeared friendly and, besides, I was not looking forward to repeatedly loading and unloading my ample belongings into and out of my two-door Volkswagen ‘Beetle’. Additionally, the move also negated the paraphernalia associated with finding somewhere else in which to live.

Doug, a handsome young man of fine physique, even assisted me with the conveyance of my personal effects. He, too, was a boarder at the house and when he announced that I was moving in with, in his words, “a pair of poofs”, he certainly was not overstating the case. Doug always maintained that he was a heterosexual and that Bob and Ron had been friends of his family for a lengthy time and, during my stay, I was given no reason to doubt his veracity.

The house was really impressive, with tasteful decor and furnishings. Moveable lights were attached to tracks laid into the ceiling of the loungeroom, and the views of Sydney Harbour were quite mesmirising.

Not only were the doors devoid of locks, there were no handles even on the shared bathroom that was adjacent to my room. The subsequent circular holes were presumably there for anyone who had the urge or desire to peep.

Still, unlike during my year or more with the elderly couple I had just left, my meals were prepared for me and life, in general, was pretty good. What did not sit so well, however, was the fact that as the months passed it became more and more evident that the pair was totally amoral.

Under-aged teenagers would be brought to the house where they would be fed, made to feel at home and (how shall I say?) ‘entertained’. Usually, within a week, they would be returned to from whence they had come. This cycle would reoccur, but not on a continual basis.

Bob possessed an incredible personality and, as a salesman, he would complete his daily schedule in a matter of just a few hours, thereby allowing him to engage the men who would come and go. He would regularly brag about the fact that many of them were married with children.

Something I found to be even more incredulous was the fact that from their outward physical appearance I would never have suspected them of being of that persuasion.

Just when I believed that matters could not have become any more depraved, I learned that, at weekends, the pair would volunteer to work amongst young children.

What I could not understand, was how Ron, at least outwardly, did not appear jealous in regards to what Bob was indulging himself in whilst he was busily at work from nine to five.

One evening I was sitting in the loungeroom, amid a group that had gathered, when the pair began to screen a film, which, in its opening minutes showed the anal insertion of berries and cherries. It was at that point in time that my presence was suddenly realised and I was instructed to leave. I did not know from where such material was being obtained, but I did notice that the pair expressed an attraction to the German city of Frankfurt and the need to return there.

Being enamoured, at that time, of Cat Stevens’ classic album, ‘Tea For The Tillerman’, I decided to literally embark on the “Road To Find Out” and, therefore, left on the 7th of November to drive almost aimlessly in my ‘Beetle’. Upon my return, exactly a calendar month later, the vehicle’s odometer showed that I had driven eight thousand and fifteen miles at an average of of nearly two hundred and sixty miles per day.

The fact that I had driven so obsessively, convinced me that I was really in need of a break and a more relaxing holiday. However, despite the fact that I had gone ahead and sold my car for five hundred and twenty-five dollars in order to pay for my airfares to and from New Zealand, Bob and Ron informed me that because, in their words, I was “straight” I had to vacate the house prior to my date of departure.

Fortunately, I successfully pleaded with them to be allowed to pay them the thirty dollars per week, in advance, in order to secure my room during my seven weeks’ absence.

One morning, before I was told that I was no longer welcome to stay, Bob had brought a young nubile woman into the house. The pair, in a move that I believed was preconceived, began to shower together in the bathroom that was juxtaposed to my room. Before long she began to release a repertoire of all the orgasmic utterances that she could muster, designed solely by Bob in a desperate attempt to get his hands (and goodness knows what else!) on my person. She persisted for all of, perhaps, fifteen minutes.

All of the while my willpower fought the almost insuperable urge to be in that shower with her, especially as I did not have a girlfriend at that time. I regarded Bob’s actions to be both despicable and perverse, but because we were under the one roof, kept my opinion to myself.

During Australia’s postal referendum, organised under the government of Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, on marriage between people of the same sex or gender citizens were virtually gagged from speaking their minds because, in our democracy, there was imposed the threat of a fine of up to twelve thousand dollars for anyone deemed to be doing so. There were instances of forms being stolen from people’s letter boxes. People could state that they had not received their forms or had incorrectly filled theirs in and apply up until a certain date in late October to apply for a replacement. Nevertheless, without vigorous and forthright debate on the subject at hand, the outcome, to what has rightfully been a waste of one hundred and twenty-five million dollars, has never been in doubt and is to be officially announced on the 15th November.

No one, therefore, mentioned anything about how just seven per cent of couple’s of the same sex remain in a monogamous relationship. It has been said that the sudden onset of such marriages here will boost the country’s economy by eighty billion dollars. I predict that once the marriage celebrants, businesses that host receptions, the caterers and honeymoon destinations have had their fill, the next big winners will be the lawyers. The biggest losers, of course, could be the children of many such unions. I certainly hope that this shall not be the case.

We know of a septuagenarian whose daughter is a lesbian. She’s freely admitted to Tiki that she’s always found it hard to accept her daughter’s sexuality. This was compounded more recently when she was given her daughter’s computer, second hand, only to find that the many repulsive sexual downloads that her daughter had believed had been erased, had not been, after all.

Although the daughter and her partner have since separated, there remains disagreement between the pair as to when and whether the two children in the relationship should be accessed. Additionally, the estranged partner is reportedly refusing to contribute maintenance towards the upkeep of the two children.

As for the right of such couples to marry being all about equality and nothing else! How can there ever be equality? To begin with heterosexuals do not see the need to parade about with a flag, especially one that is based on one of nature’s most natural and visually beautiful spectacles.

Secondly, heterosexuals have far more self-pride than to overtly parade in public often in lewd, skimpy outfits.

Thirdly, we don’t turn on our own kind, branding them as homophobic, should they express an opinion that is not in agreement with our own; unlike the same-sex supporters did when a homosexual couple appeared on ABC-TV to advocate that people should vote ‘No’ in the referendum.

Fourthly, I’ve already mentioned that only some seven per cent remain monogamous, far below the percentage of that attained by heterosexual couples.

“Cheque, mate?”: Saturday, 4th June, 1977

At the hardware store, Mitre 10, on the corner of the Kingsway and Mackay Street in Caringbah we selected four litres of Berger ‘Ceiling White’, four litres of Dulux ‘Tusk Ivory’, a paint brush, a paint roller and an accompanying paint tray, only to get to the checkout and be told, to our astonishment, that our cheque for $42.50 would not be accepted. As we had spent a considerable time in choosing the goods, I tried to reason with the foreign owner but he said that he had had much trouble with cheques bouncing and, therefore, remained steadfast in his stance. We walked out in disgust, leaving the goods that we had intended to buy where they were.

We entered the smaller Green’s Hardware on the next block, where we were received much more warmly. In addition to the goods selected previously, we purchased a block to facilitate the usage of sandpaper, as well as a tin of sealer, which the chap at Mitre 10 had not suggested. I wrote out a cheque for $47.34 and we headed for home where I set about painting the ceilings of the main bedroom, kitchen, sunroom and laundry. Tiki, meanwhile, used the new brush to paint the cornices. We felt exhausted by the time we had finished, at three o’clock, and I felt no guilt in sitting down to listen to the encounter between Manly-Warringah and South Sydney that was broadcast from Redfern Oval.

The ‘Sea Eagles’ held a lead of ten points to three at half-time before extending this to 15-3. However, South Sydney fought back strongly and Manly only managed to scrape home by seventeen to fourteen after both sides had each scored three tries. Following “It’s Academic”, on Channel Seven at half past five, I viewed the edited replay of the game on Channel Two’s “Top Saturday League”.

The second international, which is a part of the series to determine the holder of the Prudential Trophy, is being screened live from Edgbaston, in Birmingham. England is batting first. Greg Chappell was on a hat-trick, having captured the wickets of Brearley, when the captain was on ten, and Randall, for a duck. At lunch, England is 7-90, with Dennis Amiss (35) and Graham Barlow (25) having scored the bulk of these runs. Greg Chappell has the short figures of 4-12 and Gary Cosier those of 3-8.

 

Billy ‘Crash’ Craddock

Billy Wayne Craddock was born in North Carolina, in June of 1939. At the age of six he had learned how to play the guitar and prior to reaching his teens had made a name for himself via a contest that showcased local talent.

Having been given the nickname, ‘Crash’, which reportedly related to his style of play in the arena of football, Billy formed a rockabilly band, The Four Rebels. His performances bore the influence of the legends of country, most notably Hank Williams and Ray Price. However, when he was signed to record for Columbia Records, in 1958, he became marketed as an idol to teenagers and recorded tracks that were aimed at appealing to them.

Try as he and Columbia might, to win over the American teenagers, Billy’s only entry to the singles chart was the plaintive “Don’t Destroy Me”, in November of 1959. Even then the single appeared for just one week, at No.94. Nevertheless, his recordings were receiving airplay in Australia and in December of that same year “Boom Boom Baby” entered the Top 40 at No.26 and for three weeks, from the 9th of January in 1960, sat atop the chart.

To capitalise on his initial success there, ‘Crash’ Craddock toured Australia with such stars as The Everly Brothers and Bobby Rydell. “I Want That” followed “Boom Boom Baby” and reached No.3 before “Well Don’t You Know” peaked at No.8.

“One Last Kiss” entered the Australian chart, in February of 1961, and spent a week at No.1 in March of that year. I have always found it somewhat incredulous that recordings of this calibre, being such prime examples of early rock, did not feature on the charts of Billy’s homeland.

Because of this continued lack of success on a much more lucrative market, Billy resorted to working at menial jobs until the opportunity arose for him to seek success within the sphere that initially influenced him as a lad.

Between 1971 and 1989 Billy ‘Crash’ Craddock entered Billboard’s country chart with forty-one singles. Of these, three ascended to sit at No.1: “Rub It In”, in 1974, “Ruby Baby” in 1975 and “Broken Down In Tiny Pieces”, in 1977.

“Ruby Baby” was a cover of an early composition by the legendary pairing of Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, which had originally reached No.10 on America’s rhythm and blues chart for The Drifters, in 1956. Dion had also taken the song to No.5 (R&B) and No.2 (pop) in 1963.

Middlesborough Humiliates Australia: Sunday, 5th June, 1977

England fought back to amass one hundred and seventy-one runs. Australia, however, could not manage a similar recovery and was dismissed for just seventy. Its win means that England has already clinched this series of three matches as it has now won the first two.

I soon realised that the litre of Berger ‘Dusseal’ was not going to be enough. Despite this, I decided to make it do, anyway, by applying it sparingly. To add to my frustration, I found that the white liquid did not wash out in water and had to leave the brush, tray and roller unwashed.

“Namu, The Killer Whale”, a film that bears the copyright of 1966, is shown from 4.00 p.m. Robert “87th Precinct”/”Twelve O’Clock High” Lansing’s character befriends the creature.

The English side, Middlesborough, humiliates Australia’s national team at soccer, thrashing it by five goals to nil. Balmain and Eastern Suburbs drew eight all, this afternoon. I watched the edited replay of the match on “Seven’s Big League” programme from half past six. An hour later I turned the dial to Channel Nine to watch the edited replay of the rugby league international which had been played in the mud at Carlaw Park, in Auckland. Great Britain easily defeated France by twenty-three points to four, having led by sixteen to four at half-time.

“A Howling In The Woods”, a film from 1971, screens from half past eight. It brings together the pairing from “I Dream Of Jeannie”, namely Barbara “How To Marry A Millionaire” Eden and Larry Hagman. It also stars Vera Miles.

Liverpool’s European Cup: Monday, 6th June, 1977

I walked through a sun shower on the way to work and it began to rain, again, just after 11.00 a.m. Channel Two screened the highlights from the final of the European Cup, played between Liverpool and the German team, Borussia Moenchengladback, from six o’clock. The score was locked at one goal all when we turned to watch the news on Channel Seven from half past the hour. Liverpool went on to win by three goals to one.

The third match of the Prudential Trophy is being telecast live on Channel Two from a quarter to eight. England is attempting to complete a clean sweep of the series in heavy overcast conditions at The Oval. Captain, Mike Brearley — in his protective headgear — and Dennis Amiss have started briskly and are particularly severe on the bowling of Jeff Thomson. At the completion of the ninth over England is 0-41.

Episode 20 of “Rich Man, Poor Man: Book 2”, is shown on Channel Seven from half past eight. Wes, played by Gregg Henry, is severely beaten, in a fight, by Falconetti, portrayed by William Smith. England, at lunch, is 0-136 with both Amiss and Brearley each having scored sixty-six. Thirty-four overs have been bowled.

Animal Sponsorship: Tuesday, 7th June, 1977

Australia scored an outstanding win in the third and final one-day game of the series, in spite of knowing that England had already secured the Prudential Trophy. It was pleasing to hear that the tourists had battled so hard in such trying conditions to obtain the victory. England had been dismissed for 242, which were scored from 52.4 overs. Dennis Amiss and Mike Brearley had set the foundation for this by scoring 108 and 70 respectively.

Australia replied by amassing 8-246 from 53.2 overs. Despite the fact that five of the last six had been bowled in torrential rain. Ritchie Robinson scored 70 and earned the award for ‘Man of the Match’, in spite of his captain, Greg Chappell, having remained unbeaten on 125. It is his fourth century of the current tour.

The morning broke nice and sunny although by midday it had threatened to rain, yet did not. The New Zealand galloper, “Oranmore”, won the Pacesetters’ Handicap at Gosford this afternoon. This evening’s edition of “Willesee” includes a report by Paul Makin about how animals can be sponsored at Sydney’s Taronga Park Zoo. It costs five thousand dollars per annum to sponsor a koala.

Following “Good Times” we briefly switched to the live coverage of the service from St. Paul’s Cathedral, which forms a part of the celebrations for the Silver Royal Jubilee. We noted that Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, looked resplendent in pink before we turned to Channel Nine for the latter half of “Charlie’s Angels”. “The Vampire Lovers”, a film from 1970, which stars Peter Cushing, Ingrid Pitt and Dawn Addams, screens from half past eight.

 

‘Denise’s Joy’: Wednesday, 8th June, 1977

“Denise’s Joy”, a mare of four years, won the Gosford Cup this afternoon. Trained by the legendary T.J. (Tommy) Smith, she is already the winner of the V.R.C. Oaks, the Australian Derby and the Queensland Oaks, all at the level of Group One.

After “Flashez”, the highlights of Australia defeating England in the pouring rain were shown. “Circus Of The Stars”, hosted by John “Bachelor Father” Forsythe, follows “Willesee”. The French actress, Anny Duperey, clad in a bikini, performs on the trapeze without a net beneath her.

Thursday, 9th June, 1977

Teachers at a number of inner-city schools are on strike today. This evening’s television includes the Australian musical series, “Flashez”, which is presented on Channel Two from half past five by singer, Ray Burgess. It is followed by ‘Bears’ on “Last Of The Wild”, which includes a segment on both the Kodiak and the polar. Following “Willesee” on Channel Seven is another edition of “The Naked Vicar Show”, with Noeline “The Mavis Bramston Show” Brown and Ross Higgins to the fore. We retired after “Policewoman” had finished at half past nine.

Friday, 10th June, 1977

It has been a day of gale force winds and driving rain. “Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory” and “To Kill A Mockingbird” are two of the films screening on television tonight. The former is from 1971 and is based upon the book, “Charlie And The Chocolate Factory”, by the Welsh children’s author, Roald Dahl, who also wrote the screenplay. It stars Gene Wilder and Jack Albertson. The latter, which bears the copyright of 1962, is adapted from the book by the authoress, Harper Lee and stars Gregory Peck and Robert Duvall. It remains the only book that Harper Lee has had published.

The rain has now eased.

Silver Jubilee Bonfire: Saturday, 11th June, 1977

After breakfast I painted the cornice in the kitchen for a second time. When Tiki saw what I was doing she became upset because I had decided to paint over what she had done the other day. I proceeded to undercoat the walls of the kitchen with white Pascol. However, the roller had become quite rough, therefore, I resorted to smoothing the paint over with the brush.

Two men from Col Buchan Discounts delivered our Iberian oak ‘Cadiz’ bedroom suite and I wrote out a cheque for eight hundred and fifteen dollars to cover the amount that was owed on it. By two o’clock I had finished applying the undercoat in the kitchen. “Sir Wisp”, a galloper from Queensland, won this afternoon’s running of the Stradbroke Handicap, in Brisbane, from “Tiger Town” and “Maybe Mahal”. The winner started at triple-figure odds.

As I drove to Manly Vale, I listened to Frank Hyde’s description of the rather dull rugby league international, that was being played at the Sydney Cricket Ground. Australia led France by thirteen points to nil at half-time and nineteen to seven with a few minutes remaining.

Having dined at K’s Snapper Inn, we were looking at the lights from Edgecliffe Esplanade in Seaforth when we noticed a fire raging by the Spit Bridge below. As we drove past the flames, we noted that they were actually emanating from a bonfire, which had presumably been built and lit as a celebration of Queen Elizabeth II’s birthday, in this the year of her Silver Jubilee. While Her Majesty’s actual birthday falls due in April, it is celebrated here in June, in order to disperse the taking of public holidays.