“Smellus Fartus” Saturday, 29th September, 1979

We awoke to a dull, overcast and windy day. At 9.00a.m., I learned of the scratchings from 2KY’s programme, ‘Turf Time’, that is co-presented by Max Presnell and Ian Craig.

Tiki drove to Rockdale, with us having departed from home at ten o’clock. Having parked in George Street, beyond the suburb’s town hall, we bought the tickets at the railway station. Their purchase would allow us to be conveyed to Sydney’s inner line, which is known as the City Circle.

Alighting at Wynyard, we employed the use of our umbrellas until we had reached the G.P.O., in Martin Place. We entered the cafe, ‘Courtyard’, which is located on the ground floor of the building that is owned by the company, ‘M.L.C.’ We ordered two hot chocolates, at a cost of seventy cents each. Upon our emergence, to our surprise, the sky had cleared!

We walked down and into the new railway station, Martin Place, for the first time. It impressed us, with its maroon walls and light blue seats really complementing each other!

Upon our return to the level of the street, we walked down Phillip and past the Wentworth Hotel to arrive at the Opera House. Continuing on we passed Circular Quay, as we headed for the Argyle Tavern and at approximately one o’clock we entered to partake of its smorgasbord at a cost to each of us of four dollars and forty-five cents.

Tiki’s initial serving consisted of her choice of lamb, fish and curry with potato. I was so impressed by her selection and, therefore, asked the chef for a repetition. The chap who followed us in the queue exclaimed, “That looks good! I’ll have the same!”

We located secluded seats that were affixed to the floor upstairs, in the restaurant’s rear section and having devoured our meal we returned for our respective second helpings, having shown our receipt to be entitled to them. This time we opted for cold meat, salad and a bread roll.

Tiki paid fifty cents each for a bread and butter plate filled with a square slice of a cherry dessert that was smothered in custard and fruit salad, and fifty cents each for a cup of coffee with cream.

Pressing on, we entered the Botanical Gardens near to the Conservatorium Of Music prior to entering the tropical glass pyramid. However, within ten minutes we beat a hasty retreat when Tiki omitted a real stinker.

I had Tiki in stitches, as I chose to remain in the same vein as that of the botanical names on display inside the pyramid thereby referring to her ‘effort ‘ as “Smellus Fartus”.

We followed the path through the palms and onward to the new, impressive ‘Cacti’ section which is still under construction and not yet open to the public although we did take the time to wander through it.

Although the sunshine was pleasant, the wind blew strongly and the waters of Farm Cove appeared to be terribly choppy. Nearing Lady Macquarie’s Chair, via the footpath along the foreshore, we had to retrace our steps, firstly into the strong wind that carried sand, grit and leaves. Having rounded the point, we were then on the lee side and facing Garden Island. It was there that we became excited at the sight of an eight-to-ten week old Alsatian pup with its ears already erect.

Our attention was soon attracted to the crowds of people on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier, ‘H.M.A.S. Melbourne’, moored at Garden Island as a naval helicopter of an old appearance warmed up on the southern end of its deck. We sat on a rock and waited for some five minutes before it took flight. It travelled straight over our heads prior to it disgorging frogmen from a height of about ten metres, at intervals, into the harbour. The pilot waved to the crowd that stood on the peninsula of rock above us and we laughed at the member of its crew who sat at the doorway as he dangled his feet over its edge and, as if to music, clapped his feet together.

We witnessed the pilot ultra-cautiously return his machine to the carrier’s deck prior to us setting out to walk past the swimming pool – named in honour of Andrew ‘Boy’ Charlton – which, quite understandably, housed few swimmers and sunbathers.

A tall, lean and gangly gent of perhaps twenty-five or thirty years roller-bladed past us, as we made our way to the Mitchell Library. His knees were well padded with protective guards. However, it was his stature that amused us more as we envisaged him to be more like a two-legged giraffe. Perhaps, all of the walking was starting to take a toll on our minds?

We reached Saint Mary’s Cathedral prior to us crossing Collins Street and entering Hyde Park. There, the Archibald Fountain was flowing in all of its glory, glistening on a day when the temperature reached twenty-four degrees Celsius, which is four degrees above the seasonal average.

We were looking for a place from which to purchase a cold orange juice each when Tiki suddenly espied her parents, of all people, as they were in the process of walking away from the fountain. We sneaked up behind them and I exclaimed, in my sternest voice, “All right! You’re both under arrest for loitering in the park!”

I had “Mum” believe, just for a moment, that a policeman was, in fact, addressing them.

They were as surprised to see us, as we them!

The four of us adjourned to a cafe in Centrepoint, which we found to be hot and somewhat claustrophobic. Tiki and I opted to have an orange juice each while an iced coffee sufficed ‘Mum’ and ‘Dad’. It was his shout.

The pair had lunched at the relatively new ‘Jasmine Court’, a Chinese restaurant in Blakehurst and were en route to the State Theatre in Market Street where they were to view James Brolin and Margot Kidder in the screening of ‘The Amityville Horror’.

We entered on to Pitt Street and ventured into the old Strand Arcade that had been restored so beautifully, a few years ago, after the fire that gutted it had almost resulted in such a restoration being abandoned.

The four of us entered George Street and walked to its intersection with Market Street, where we parted, but not before ‘Dad’ and I had discussed the recently begun restoration of the building that is the Queen Victoria. It possesses ten copper domes on either side of its roof, as well as a huge one in the middle.

Tiki and I boarded the train at twenty-five to five that was to return us from Town Hall to Rockdale. Tiki’s feet were so sore, that this prompted her to sit on a seat located beside the Princes Highway, while I walked up to George Street to retrieve our car. It was twenty past five when I collected her. The races were replayed on the radio as we travelled home.

The jockey, Malcolm ‘Miracle Mal’ Johnston, had not only ridden ‘Kingston Town’ (7/4), the winner of the $100,500 Spring Champion Stakes, but also ‘Imposing’ (11/2), which was also first past the post in the $100,500 Epsom Handicap. Each victory earned Malcolm the sum of $6,800 ( 10% of the first prize).

The news on Channel 7, at six o’clock, was followed, at half past the hour, by Channel 9’s ‘Ask The Leyland Brothers’. The programme includes the coverage of a ride on Telecom’s sky lift. The journey, of some twenty minutes, covers a distance of five and a half kilometres and the structure, itself, is located on Queensland’s second-tallest mountain, Bellenden Kerr. Unfortunately, it is not open to the general public!

We observed a programme of Channel 7’s forensic medical series, ‘Quincy MD’, with Jack Klugman cast in its principal role. During its viewing we imbibed in a bottle of ‘Mateus’ rose, which had cost us three dollars and twenty-nine cents.

Unsurprisingly, Tiki fell sound asleep on the lounge!

The Top 40 Fantasies: No. 16

  1. Tin Soldier (1967) The Small Faces
  2. Amapola (1941) Jimmy Dorsey and his Orchestra; vocalists: Bob Eberly and Helen O’Connell
  3. Let’s Walk A Thata-way (1953) Doris Day and Johnnie Ray
  4. A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square (1940) Glenn Miller and his Orchestra; vocalist: Ray Eberle
  5. The Ballad Of The Green Berets (1966) Staff Sergeant Barry Sadler
  6. Flowers In The Rain (1967) The Move
  7. We’ll Sing In The Sunshine (1964) Gale Garnett
  8. Doctor My Eyes (1972) Jackson Browne
  9. Layla (1971) Derek and The Dominos
  10. Working In The Coal Mine (1966) Lee Dorsey
  11. One (1969) Johnny Farnham
  12. He (1955) Al Hibbler
  13. Yesterday’s Hero (1975) John (Paul) Young
  14. One (1969) Three Dog Night
  15. A Never Ending Song Of Love (1971) Delaney and Bonnie and Friends
  16. Wheels (1961) The String-Alongs
  17. Dust My Broom (1952) Elmore James
  18. The Cheater (1966) Bob Kuban and The In-Men
  19. You, Me And Us (1957) Alma Cogan
  20. Sunshine, Lollipops And Rainbows (1965) Lesley Gore
  21. Take This Job And Shove It (1977) Johnny Paycheck
  22. 98.6 (1966) Keith
  23. 40 Cups Of Coffee (1953) Ella Mae Morse
  24. Boogie Woogie Lou (1950) Zeb Turner
  25. Don’t Cross The River (1973) America
  26. A Picture Of You (1962) Joe Brown and The Bruvvers
  27. Chains (1962) The Cookies
  28. Are You Ready For The Country (1976) Waylon Jennings
  29. Many Tears Ago (1946) Eddy Arnold and his Tennessee Plowboys
  30. The Shape I’m In (1959) Johnny Restivo
  31. Sugarbush (1951) Doris Day and Frankie Laine
  32. Please Don’t Talk To The Lifeguard (1963) Diane Ray
  33. A Handful Of Songs (1957) Tommy Steele
  34. You Won’t Be Leaving (1966) Herman’s Hermits
  35. (If Paradise Is) Half As Nice (1969) Amen Corner
  36. Petootie Pie (1946) Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Jordan
  37. Shake (1965) Sam Cooke
  38. That’s Life (That’s Tough) (1962) Gabriel and The Angels
  39. I’m A Tiger (1968) Lulu
  40. Wonderwall (1995) Oasis

Sylvania Waters: Thursday, 1st December, 1977

Tiki’s left arm and shoulder were no longer causing her discomfort and allowed her to sleep quite well last night. However, this situation had changed by the time I arrived at her place of work this afternoon and she asked for permission to leave early.

I drove her to the building which bears the name of ‘Wyoming’, in order that she could collect her X-rays. She cheekily opened the large envelope, in spite of the fact that it was addressed to her doctor, and read the report which states that the series of X-rays had not detected anything out of the ordinary.

Following an early tea we left for the doctor’s surgery only to discover that it is closed on Thursday afternoons. We walked for four miles around Barcoo Island, Captain Cook Island and the length of Belgrave Esplanade to the entrance to Murray Island, in the humid overcast conditions. Some of the houses at Sylvania Waters are impressive, but they are more often than not jammed together. There isn’t any room on the nature strips to walk as they are devoid of footpaths and possess a mixture of wiry and bushy plants. Additionally, the murky man-made canals emitted an odour that wasn’t pleasant.

It was seven o’clock by the time we returned to the ‘Galant’ and used its odometer to measure the distance of our walk. Upon our return home I wrote my diary at the dining table in the kitchen as Tiki watched “Space 1999”. The musical theme, which normally opens each edition of the series, has changed. At the conclusion of the second episode of “Cop Shop”, the humidity remained at an extremely oppressive level.

Moth Plague: Friday, 2nd December, 1977

Having awoken at twenty past two to go to the toilet, I also partook of a glass that contained ‘Eno’ for my upset stomach. I remained up until five o’clock, as I read “The Sun” and viewed “The Magus”, a movie on Channel Nine, which stars Anthony Quinn, Michael Caine, Candice Bergen and Anna Karina. A thunderstorm passed above our house, but not before it had emitted one particularly loud clap of thunder.

Within scarcely an hour and a half, we were awoken by the alarm and arose to ready ourselves for work. The sky began to clear by mid-morning and, at lunchtime, the temperature was twenty-nine degrees Celsius.

After work, Tiki talked me into continuing on into town to see the latest film to feature the secret agent with a ‘licence to kill’, James Bond, namely “The Spy Who Loved Me”, which screened in Cinema 5 of the new Hoyts Cinema Centre. We purchased our tickets and crossed George Street to McDonald’s where I consumed two Fillet-o’-fish burgers, a chocolate shake and an orange juice while Tiki did likewise to a Fillet-o’-fish burger, a Cheeseburger and a vanilla shake.

“Free Skiing 1977” preceded intermission. It was filmed in New Zealand and includes scenes of skiers wending their way down Mount Ngauruhoe, an active volcano on the North Island. During intermission, we moved farther down towards the front of the cinema because a band of young children had moved in behind us. “The Spy Who Loved Me” stars Roger Moore, as ‘007’, and Barbara Bach.

I handed the stubs of our cinema tickets to the attendant at the parking station and he deducted fifty cents from our fee. This reduced it to two dollars and ten. It was thirty degrees, which equated to ten above the average, at nine o’clock as I drove through a plague of moths in Sussex Street and on through Newtown.

This afternoon, the left-hander, Tony Roche and John Alexander gave Australia a lead of two rubbers against Italy in winning their respective opening singles matches in this year’s final of the Davis Cup, which is being played on grass at Sydney’s White City.

‘Pyjama’ Cricket: Saturday, 3rd December, 1977

Thankfully, conditions cooled overnight! “Mum” rang after breakfast to say that she’d meet us at the foot of the stairs that lead to The Fair Restaurant. Tiki left at nine to walk to Miranda Fair and buy my anniversary/Christmas present, as well as Christmas presents for others. Meanwhile, I listened to 2KY’s “Turf Talk”, which is presented by Ian Craig and Max Presnell, on this near perfect summer’s morning.

I left at a quarter past ten for Miranda Fair via the T.A.B. “Mum” had already arrived at the foot of the stairs and was intently window-shopping at the jewellers, Angus and Coote, when I patted her on the back and cheekily enquired, “Excuse me ‘Gorgeous’! What are you doing tonight?”

Tiki arrived shortly afterwards to be light-heartedly informed by her mother: “Your husband just tried to pick me up! I’d watch him if I were you!”

The three of us adjourned to ‘The Fair’ for a cappuccino each. Tiki paid for the bill of one dollar and sixty-five cents with her inclusion of about fifty-cents worth of copper coins, which she had painstakingly removed from her purse and stacked on the table.

Downstairs in Myer, I bought a C-60 Hitachi blank tape for one dollar and eighty-nine cents whilst “Mum” spent twenty dollars on purchasing us an ironing board for Christmas. The board is covered with an orange, yellow and white floral material. Patiently, I stood and held it while the two women went off in search of presents to give to others.

When we did, finally, reach “Mum’s” Rover sedan in the car park, the traffic was so continuous that we decided to sit and chat. However, after fifteen minutes the traffic still hadn’t eased and so we joined the queue, anyway. It was half past twelve when she left us at the front of our house with arrangements to meet her later.

Briton, Peter Skellern, sang his sizeable hit of 1972, “You’re A Lady”, and The Drifters: “Under The Boardwalk” and “Save The Last Dance For Me”, from 1964 and 1961 respectively, on the British pop series, “International Pop Proms”. At one, there was a replay of a part of yesterday’s second rubber in the final of this year’s Davis Cup, which is being contested at the White City Stadium in Sydney. John Alexander of Australia defeated Corrado Barazutti of Italy in four sets: 6-2, 8-6, 4-6, 6-2. Tony Roche had won the opening rubber against Adriano Panatta in straight sets: 6-3, 6-4, 6-4.

Upon Tiki’s suggestion and also at one o’clock, we opened our respective anniversary/Christmas present to each other. I was able to guess that mine was a clock radio: a National Panasonic FM-AM digital. She was to become a little disappointed that I wasn’t taking a little more interest in it. Nevertheless, she approved of her pendant necklace.

It was twenty past two when we left to walk, in our thongs and heat of thirty-three degrees Celsius, to her parents’ for a swim. Later, “Dad” shouted us to a takeaway from the Fountain Inn Restaurant. Tiki and I shared our combination chow mein and fish cutlets sweet and sour. The flies were unbearable on the patio and so we adjourned to the lounge.

Although Italy won today’s doubles rubber, it still trails Australia in this year’s final of the Davis Cup by two rubbers to one. The pairing of Paolo Bertolucci and Adriano Panatta defeated John Alexander and Phil Dent, in straight sets: 6-4, 6-4, 7-5.

The four of us viewed the Australian documentary, “The Dolphins”, from half past six and sixty minutes later a programme of the series, “Barnaby Jones”, which has an elderly Buddy Ebsen cast in the title role and Lynda Day George as its guest star.

Tiki and I arrived home by ten o’clock. This meant that I could watch the highlights from Kerry Packer’s “World Series Cricket”. Screened on Mr Packer’s own network, which includes TCN Channel Nine in Sydney, the footage came from the ground at Mount Waverly, in Melbourne, where Australian Rules is normally played. The size of the crowd at the match was totally disproportionate to the calibre of the players involved and it remains to be seen if this form of ‘pyjama’ cricket, as it is quite often derisively referred to by its detractors, can survive.

At half past ten Tiki chose to watch the film, “Our Mother’s House”. Introduced by Channel Seven’s expert on all things cinematic, Bill Collins, it was made in 1967 and stars the celebrated British actor, Dirk Bogarde. A picture of a similar vintage, “A Guide For The Married Man”, with Robert Morse, Walter Matthau and the late Inger Stevens was screened simultaneously on Channel Ten.

The El Dorados

Having formed in Chicago, in 1952, this American doo-wop group named itself after a model of Cadillac. Nonetheless, it had to wait until 1955 in order to make a name for itself.

This came in the form of the single, “At My Front Door”, which reached No.1 on Billboard’s rhythm and blues chart and No.17 on the national pop chart.

As was the custom then, African Americans would release a record and a white artist, who was invariably known far more widely, would promptly cover it and collect much of the cream. In this particular instance, Pat Boone was that artist.

The group’s only other hit came in early 1956 when “I’ll Be Forever Loving You” reached No.8 on the rhythm and blues chart.

At the time of its success The El Dorados consisted of leading vocalist, Pirkle Lee Moses, Arthur Basset, Richard Nickens, Jewel Jones and James Maddox.

Ovine Trait: Sunday, 4th December, 1977

I was stunned to think that I had slept in until half past eight! The appearance of the paperboy did not eventuate and I found it inconceivable that I had slept through his passing.

A terrific traffic jam of about a mile in length greeted us in the heat as we neared Kurnell. Impatient motorists were driving along the road’s gravelly verge in their attempts to overcome it. Eventually, just like a sheep, I did the same!

The lady at the fruit market told Tiki, in a foreign accent, that motorists had been queuing since half past seven to enter Captain Cook’s Landing Place. And to think that we’d only decided to visit Kurnell to buy some fruit! During our return, I drove through a crowded Cronulla and bought an edition of “The Sun-Herald” at a milk bar in Caringbah.

Between one o’clock and two, I watched coverage of the First Test which is being played at the ‘Gabba in Brisbane. Australia was battling — to put it mildly — in its second innings having been three for seven at one stage yesterday. The Queenslander, David Ogilvie, scored forty-six, in this his first Test. Bob Simpson, meanwhile, passed fifty before he too was dismissed on eighty-nine.

We departed for Tiki’s parents’ where I helped “Dad” to carry an old television from downstairs and place it in his ute. I also assisted him to move the old fridge and an old freezer to their respective positions beneath the stairs and then sweep clean the area upon which they had stood. “Mum” confessed to Tiki and I that her neck was “killing” her and that the recent manipulation appeared to have been a failure.

Tiki swam underwater for the circumference of their above-ground pool and passed between my open legs. Although the water was warm in comparison to yesterday, the wind was a cool one in spite of today’s maximum being twenty-eight degrees Celsius.

Each of us drank the contents of a KB ‘keg’ stubby and our takeaway tonight is from McDonald’s. The West Indies defeated Australia by three wickets in the World Series Cricket.

John Alexander clinched the Davis Cup for Australia for the first time since 1968, when he defeated Italy’s Adriano Panatta, at Sydney’s White City Stadium, in five gruelling sets: 6-4, 4-6, 2-6, 8-6, 11-9.

At seven we left on our walk and jog through Gymea and Miranda, arriving home at five past eight. Channel Seven, at half past the hour, screened “The Destructors”, which includes in its cast Richard “Empire” Egan and Patricia Owens. The film’s content is pretty dull and the movie, itself, visually appeared to me to be old-fashioned in spite of it having been made only eleven years ago.

Ten minutes to ten heralded a preview into the making of the latest addition to the series of films to feature the secret agent with a licence to kill, James Bond. We viewed this latest offering, “The Spy Who Loved Me”, last Friday evening.

At twenty past the hour I turned the dial to Channel Nine to watch the highlights of today’s play in World Series Cricket’s clash between Australia and the West Indies.

The Neglect Of Minutes: Monday, 5th December, 1977

When we awoke at the usual time of twenty-four minutes past six, I was immediately made aware that Tiki had tuned my new digital clock radio to 2UE and the unmistakeable voice of Gary O’Callaghan, which really grates on me. Upon making my feelings known, she became most upset and rightfully claimed that I don’t know how to operate my new present. This led her to conclude that I, therefore, don’t like it!

At least she is now in agreeance that its lighting favours the digit or digits that display the hour while it almost totally neglects those which signify the minutes.

“Skippy” appears on Channel Nine at half past five. This evening’s programme is from 1968 and has Colin Croft cast as the thief of a horse, and Ross “The Naked Vicar Show” Higgins as the horse’s owner. The first in a new series of “Doc”, at six, isn’t as humorous since the ‘death’ of his wife, if this edition is typical of the remainder.

“Willesee”, at seven, includes an interview with Leah Lynch — the wife of the hospitalised, former Federal Treasurer, Philip Lynch — who speaks about politics and next Saturday’s federal election. Don Chipp, who leads the Australian Democrats, has his say in another segment. Lastly, and on a lighter note, strongman, Paul Graham, along with some of the other muscular entrants in the forthcoming contest that will decide just who is adjudged to be Mr. New South Wales, makes an appearance.

After our walk around the “block” we watched the third episode of the Australian serial, “Cop Shop”, which screened on Channel Seven at half past eight.

The Top 40 Fantasies: No. 15

  1. Those Were The Days (1968) Mary Hopkin
  2. The Lunatics (Have Taken Over The Asylum) (1981) The Funboy Three
  3. Home Of The Brave (1965) Jody Miller
  4. That Chick’s Too Young To Fry (1946) Louis Jordan
  5. Right Back Where We Started From (1975) Maxine Nightingale
  6. The Power And The Passion (1983) Midnight Oil
  7. Another Saturday Night (1963) Sam Cooke
  8. I Apologize (1951) Billy Eckstine
  9. Sail Along Silvery Moon (1957) Billy Vaughn
  10. Paloma Blanca (1975) The George Baker Selection
  11. Candy (1945) Johnny Mercer, Jo Stafford and The Pied Pipers
  12. (Old-Dogs, Children And) Watermelon Wine (1972) Tom T. Hall
  13. Look Wot You Dun (1972) Slade
  14. If I Knew You Were Comin’ I’d’ve Baked A Cake (1950) Eileen Barton
  15. White Lightning (1959) George Jones
  16. A Very Special Love (1958) Doris Day
  17. How Can I Be Sure (1967) The Young Rascals
  18. Paper Cup (1967) The 5th Dimension
  19. Rock Me Baby (1986) Johnny Nash
  20. Love’s Been A Little Bit Hard On Me (1982) Juice Newton
  21. Caterina (1962) Perry Como
  22. South Of The Border (Down Mexico Way) (1939) Shep Fields and his Rippling Rhythm Orchestra; vocalist:Hal Derwin
  23. Jai Deux Amours (1953) Josephine Baker
  24. Take A Message To Mary (1959) The Everly Brothers
  25. That Lovin’ You Feelin’ Again (1980) Roy Orbison and Emmylou Harris
  26. So Long (1949) Ruth Brown
  27. That’s A Man’s Way (1965) Wilson Pickett
  28. Quicksilver (1950) Bing Crosby and The Andrews Sisters
  29. You Don’t Know What You Mean To Me (1968) Sam and Dave
  30. Everything Is Fine (2007) Josh Turner
  31. Open The Door, Richard (1947) Louis Jordan
  32. Believe Me (1957) The Royal Teens
  33. I’m Going To See You Today (1952) Joyce Grenfell
  34. Bip Bam (1954) The Drifters
  35. The Last Round-Up (1933) Gene Autry
  36. The Watusi (1961) The Vibrations
  37. Lightning’s Girl (1967) Nancy Sinatra
  38. No (1972) Bulldog
  39. Dead Skunk (1973) Loudon Wainwright III
  40. I Don’t Like Mondays (1979) The Boomtown Rats

‘The Restless Years’ Premieres: Tuesday, 6th December, 1977

The early overcast cleared on what has been a humid day. After work, I watched the closing stages of the First Test, which was played in Brisbane. The opening batsman, Sunil Gavaskar, who is of a short stature, was dismissed for one hundred and thirteen and India fell just seventeen runs short of the total that it was required to score for victory. Australia, therefore, won by sixteen runs.

Having watched the American series, “Doc”, at six, we walked via the usual route through Gymea and Miranda. Our return allowed us the time to watch the first episode of another new Australian serial, “The Restless Years”, which screened on Channel Ten from half past seven.