Eighteen Inches Between Studs

We were on our daily walk when we met an octogenarian, whom we had not seen for quite some time. During the conversation that ensued, she made mention of the two houses that were being built near to her own abode and enlightened us that the respective occupants-to-be were most dissatisfied in the standard of their construction.

She went on to outline of how some years prior to that she, herself, had employed two builders to install some new editions to her existing bathroom, only to be told by the pair that they would have to remove all of the tiles from its walls in order to locate its studs.

However, it was then that she produced her old rule of eighteen inches and rightly assured them that each stud was that length apart when measured from a specified corner of the room.

Upon hearing this, I couldn’t help but quip, “It really is an honour to meet a woman who knows exactly where her studs are!”.

While the elderly lady remained straight-faced, an unsuspecting Tiki, laughed heartily.

Somewhat Disappointing: Tuesday, 17th May, 1977

We searched in Myer, Grace Bros. and Sydney Wide before we bought a ‘Cadiz’ suite for our bedroom, from Col Buchan Discounts on the Kingsway, in Miranda. It is of a dark colour and cost us eight hundred and ninety-eight dollars. We have arranged to have it delivered after our new carpet is laid. We walked home in a jovial mood, in spite of a heavy overcast that threatened to drench us.

Tiki watched the film, “Tarzan And The Valley Of Gold”, from 1965, which features Mike Henry, as Tarzan, and Nancy Kovack. Cliff Richard was supposed to appear on “The Mike Walsh Show”, but cancelled his appearance. Jade Hurley stood in for him at the last minute and performed a medley of Roy Orbison’s hits.

This afternoon we set out for the city to attend Cliff Richard’s concert. It began at half past six in the Regent Theatre, in George Street near to the south-west corner of its intersection with Bathurst Street.

A young woman, with long blonde hair, screamed five ‘songs’, and, after an interval of fifteen minutes, Cliff appeared before the mostly young audience. Dressed in black trousers, a black sequined T-shirt, a white coat and shoes he began by singing his first hit, “Move It”, which he originally recorded in 1958.

Unfortunately, for us, he then deviated towards performing up-tempo new songs, thereby getting right away from the seventy or so hits already under his belt in his native Britain. I was personally disappointed that he did not perform more ballads although he did sing what he said was his favourite song, “Miss You Nights”, which was released last year.

Cliff was supported by a band of five or six members, a pianist and two vocalists. Everyone on stage was male. Terry Britten, who along with The Little River Band’s Glenn Shorrock, was a member of the Australian group, The Twilights, in the mid-to-late 1960s, was present. He wrote Cliff’s hit of last year, “Devil Woman”, which has really opened doors for the singer in the United States after nearly two decades of endeavour.

In fact, “Devil Woman” was the last song of the evening, apart from a solitary number, performed as an encore. I attended Cliff’s concert in October of 1973 at the Sydney Opera House, which was held on the evening of the day after Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II had officially opened the building. Cliff appeared on a double bill with Harry Secombe, and I must say I enjoyed that concert far more than this evening’s.

The concert finished by five minutes to nine after those on stage had thrown streamers into that part of the audience below us. We crossed George Street and sat upstairs in the Parisienne Pussycat Restaurant. Two servings of raisin toast, a hot Vienna chocolate and a cappucino cost us two dollars and seventy-five cents in total.

The crowd, which was assembling for Cliff’s second concert, blocked the footpath outside the Regent and members of the police force were on hand to guide passers-by round it.

Tiki stated that she had been quite unimpressed by Cliff’s performance, adding that he was “too in love with himself” and the audio “too loud”.

Potholed And ‘Cracked’ Paradise!

Earlier this year we drove north to one of our favourite destinations, Port Stephens.

There is no denying that the scenery around Nelson Bay, is glorious and the area’s beaches appear pristine, however, we found its roads – especially the secondary ones – were literally a minefield. We had planned to stay in the more relaxed hamlet of Lemon Tree Passage and make daily excursions to other destinations in the region, however, the road, especially on the inward journey, was in such a state of disrepair that we soon quashed that idea.

We walked our dog on three beaches, our favourite being Birubi because of its firm sand and its sheer length. One Mile Beach was another to impress us. A footpath leads one on a walk from the waterfront in Nelson Bay to and beyond Dutchman’s Beach. It was near here that we sighted dolphins just off a nearby rocky point. Our walk also passed a number of dead and dying mature trees. A plethora of nearby signs asserted that they had been poisoned and/or irreparably vandalised.

During an earlier visit, we had enjoyed the expansive views afforded from Port Stephens’ Tomaree Lookout. One can reduce one’s assent by driving to the carpark, which is not far below its summit.

I really enjoyed the meals I partook of at ‘Cafe on the Bay’, in the heart of Nelson Bay itself. As we were making our way there we happened to pass a store with a small blackboard set up on the edge of the footpath. Written upon it was the following:

‘Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack!’

Tactfulness Can Sometimes Vanish In Old Age

It must have been two years ago when I was in our local supermarket and about to reach for a copy of ‘The Daily Telegraph’. Suddenly, a breathless, middle-aged woman appeared at my side and inquired, “Do they sell ‘The Sydney Morning Herald’ in here?!”.

“No. This is a classy store!”, I retorted.

The Top 40 Fantasies: No. 41

  1. Tammy (1957) Debbie Reynolds
  2. Dream Lover (1959) Bobby Darin
  3. Hold On! I’m A Comin’ (1966) Sam and Dave
  4. Love Is The Sweetest Thing (1933) Ray Noble and his Orchestra; vocalist, Al Bowlly
  5. Wonderful Land (1962) The Shadows
  6. Yes Tonight, Josephine (1957) Johnnie Ray
  7. Together (1928) Paul Whiteman and his Orchestra; vocalist, Jack Fulton
  8. Any Dream Will Do (1973) Max Bygraves
  9. Young And Warm And Wonderful (1958) Tony Bennett
  10. I’m A Man (1965) The Yardbirds
  11. The Black Hills Of Dakota (1954) Doris Day
  12. Little By Little (1966) Dusty Springfield
  13. California Blue (1989) Roy Orbison
  14. Old MacDonald Boogie (1947) Johnny Tyler and The Riders Of The Rio Grande
  15. Words Of Love (1957) Buddy Holly
  16. The Queen Of Hearts (1981) Juice Newton
  17. Ventura Highway (1972) America
  18. I’ll Get Along Somehow (1947) Julia Lee and her Boyfriends
  19. A Woman Likes To Be Told (1950) Kay Starr
  20. Gonna See My Baby Tonight (1971) The La De Das
  21. Ooh…It Feels So Good (1950) The Larks
  22. Babe I’m Gonna Leave You (1969) Led Zeppelin
  23. Get Up, Get Up (You Sleepy Head) (1956) LaVern Baker
  24. Broken Lady (1975) Larry Gatlin
  25. (Honey, Baby, Hurry!) Bring Your Sweet Self Back To Me (1953) Lefty Frizzell
  26. Just Let Me Cry (1963) Lesley Gore
  27. Workin’ On A Groovy Thing (1969) The 5th Dimension
  28. Dear John (1982) Status Quo
  29. No Sugar Tonight (1970) The Guess Who
  30. Love (1971) The Lettermen
  31. With My Banjo On My Knee Blues (1933) Louisiana Lou
  32. I Want To Be Free (1957) Elvis Presley
  33. Don’t Burst My Bubble (1967) The Small Faces
  34. All Fall Down (1972) Lindisfarne
  35. Masterpiece (1973) The Temptations
  36. Dirrty (2002) Christina Aguilera ft. Redman
  37. The River Jordan (1958) The Louvin Brothers
  38. I’m Depending On You (1965) Otis Redding
  39. Funk Factory (1972) Wilson Pickett
  40. I Luv It (2024) Camila Cabello

Sunday, 19th June, 2022

We awoke just prior to 6.50 and arose just prior to 7.00. Our intension is to drive north to the region of New South Wales known as the Mid-North Coast and stay in accommodation that we will ascertain upon our arrival, in the regional town of Forster.

Prior to our departure, we noted that Channel 9’s ‘Weekend Today’ was being presented from Queensland’s Gold Coast from where Australian television’s awards, the Gold Logies, are to be presented this evening. Belinda Russell, Jayne Azzopardi and Charles Croucher were in the studio while the programme’s elderly reporter, Richard Wilkins, on what passes these days as ‘entertainment’, could be seen driving around in an electric buggy. The show’s reporter of the weather, Dan Anstey, is in the Gold Coast’s hinterland, at Mount Tamborine.

Channel 7’s corresponding programme, ‘Weekend Sunrise’, was as per yesterday with its co-presenters being Sally Bowery and Matt Doran. Sally relieved the absent Monique Wright. Natarsha Belling, who was formerly with Channel 10, read the news and presented the sport. The weather presenter, James Tobin, who’s in his early forties, presented his weather reports from a shop, in Rozelle, Sydney, that sells bicycles, as he advised the viewer to switch to riding one as the price of petrol has reached as much as two dollars and thirty cents per litre.

We turned the television off at eight o’clock, having witnessed the latest footage of America’s President, Joe Biden, having taken another tumble, this time from his stationary pushbike, right in front of those who were awaiting to interview him.

Once we had reached our destination and settled into our accommodation we drove to the sands of Seven Mile Beach, in order to exercise our dog and stretch our legs. There were only a few riders on their surfboards, down towards its southern end. Tiki began picking up sticks and throwing them for our canine to retrieve, only to have the latter display a greater interest in prancing about with them in her mouth, prior to gnawing at each one.

As it nearing mid-winter we showered and settled down to watch the circa 1964 film, ‘Clambake’. Apart from Elvis Presley, it features Bill Bixby of ‘The Incredible Hulk’, Will Hutchins (‘Sugarfoot’) and Shelley (‘The Donna Reid Show’) Fabares.

The ‘Seven Afternoon News’ was read by Angie Asimus, with the prominent cheekbones. It is reportedly going to cost the state government of Premier, Dominic Perrotait, twenty-five million dollars to erect a flagpole atop the Sydney Harbour Bridge in order to fly the Aboriginal flag alongside that of the nation and state. Matt Carmichael presents the sport and Angie, the weather report.

The ’10 News First’ screens between 5.00 and 6.00 and is read by the veteran, Ms Chris Bath. Amanda Jason reports on the weather, and Scott Mackinnon, supplies the coverage of sport.

Mr Chris Smith hosts ‘Chris Smith Tonight’ on Sky News’s Channel 53, between 6.00 and 7.00. Chris is furious that the government plans to spend the twenty-five million dollars to fly permanently what he perceives will be a divisive flag on the Harbour Bridge. The proposed flagpole would be the third such flagpole on the Bridge, with the current second such pole being used alternately to display the state or Aboriginal flags.

Chris’s first guest is the former federal politician, Mark Latham, who is currently the leader of the party, One Nation, in New South Wales and of whom we’ve not seen in some six weeks. Other guests include Hollie Hughes, a Liberal senator, who represents New South Wales, and Graham Richardson, a former minister in the Labor Party.

Smith refers to the Russian leader, Vladimir Putin, as being a “pariah”, “delusional” and “evil in the extreme”, as Russia’s attempt to annex Ukraine nears its fourth month. Chris interviews Inna Sovson, a Ukrainian M.P., who relays, via satellite from Kyiv, just what the situation is like in her country.

Chris’s other guests are Prue MacSween, a social commentator; Caroline Di Russo, a contributor to Sky News; and Kristy Carr, the C.E.O., of Bubs Australia. She speaks live from Ohio where it is 4.50 a.m. The company in recent days answered President Biden’s call to send its baby formula to America, due to there being a shortage.

The official debut of ‘Erin’ follows between 8.00 and 9.00. Its presenter is Erin Molan, the daughter of the Senator, Jim Molan. Erin is the mother of a girl of four years. Her opening guest, this evening, is Sky’s Jenna Clarke, who hosts another programme, ‘The Front Page’. Other guests include David Pocock, a newly elected independent senator for the Australian Capital Territory. He is a former ‘Wallaby’, having represented Australia at rugby union.

Another guest of Erin’s, is her previously mentioned father, Jim, a retired Major General. He states that war in our region is not only likely, but probable. Other guests include 2GB’s Michael McLaren and businesswoman, Kellie Sloane.

‘Paul Murray Live’ followed between 9.00 and 10.00. Its host Paul Murray is an obese smoker of cigars, who, despite only being in his mid-forties, already possesses a beard of grey. The first half of each programme features an outspoken monologue from Paul. His guests, in this evening’s latter half, include the ubiquitous Michael Kroger, a former president of the Victorian Liberal Party; the outgoing senator, Amanda Stoker; Linda Scott, a councillor, who represents the City Of Sydney; James Ashby, Senator Pauline Hanson’s Chief Of Staff, and Teena McQueen, the Liberal Party’s Vice-President.

The sixty-second ‘TV Week’, ‘Logie Awards’ are being held tonight, on the Gold Coast. The awards are named in honour of the British inventor of television, John Logie Baird.

Although we retired for the night shortly after ten o’clock, our accommodation’s external lighting system was to keep us awake, seemingly for hours, as our bedroom’s curtains were too sheer.

Time Tends To Become Wasted In Old Age

At the risk of repeating myself – – Tiki reminds me quite often of how this irks her — in old age one spends a proportion of the day searching for an item that has either been lost or, hopefully, misplaced. Just this morning I spent the greater part of two hours searching for my missing sock!

As Tiki deservedly sometimes likes to sleep in, before I get into bed at night I remove my clothing and drape it over the rail of the stairs outside of our bedroom, so as not to disturb her when I arise in the morning. When I do arise, I take my clothes from the railing and place them in, I must admit, a somewhat disorderly fashion on the back of my chair in the loungeroom.

Nevertheless, it was still a complete surprise to me that when I decided to remove my jumper (that’s Aussie for pullover or sweater!) in order to change my shirt, that the hitherto untraceable sock should fall to the floor, at my feet!

Brian Ferry: Thursday, 5th May, 1977

Dense fog closed Sydney Airport this morning. “Mum” and “Dad” left from there, this afternoon, on a round-the-world trip. It is their second such trip in two years.

At 6.00 p.m., on Channel Two, I watched a programme of the “Last Of The Wild” documentary series, narrated by Lorne “Bonanza” Greene. “Willesee” included an interview with British rock star, Brian Ferry. He appears to be a well-mannered, articulate chap who has had an education of quality. He confessed that he is more of an introvert than an extrovert and, for this reason, dislikes interviews.

The motion picture, “Trapped Beneath The Sea”, from 1974, is shown from half past seven. It stars the late Lee J. Cobb, Martin Balsam and Paul Michael “Starsky And Hutch” Glaser.

 

“Shoe Drop”: Thursday, 12th May, 1977

The documentary, “The Year Of The Wildebeest”, narrrated by the veteran English actor, James Mason, is shown on Channel Seven from 7.30 p.m. A number of animals are seen to drown and/or be torn apart by crocodiles, as they instinctively attempt to cross a river.

“Policewoman”, the perennial police drama series, which stars Angie Dickinson, as Pepper Anderson, and Earl Holliman, follows from half past eight on this same channel.

Tiki had chided me the other day for not having placed my shoes gently on the carpet upon their removal. Therefore, this evening, when she asked me to fetch her shoes and socks from our bedroom I painstakingly placed them at her feet ever so gently, only to be told that the shoes were, indeed, facing in the wrong direction. I carefully lifted them and at a height of about thirty centimetres, allowed them to fall freely.

 

 

The Top 40 Fantasies: No. 40

  1. (We’re Gonna) Rock Around The Clock (1955) Bill Haley and his Comets
  2. The Theme From ‘A Summer Place’ (1960) Percy Faith and his Orchestra
  3. Help Me Make It Through The Night (1971) Sammi Smith
  4. It Doesn’t Matter Any More (1959) Buddy Holly
  5. To See My Angel Cry (1969) Conway Twitty
  6. Let’s Twist Again (1961) Chubby Checker
  7. A Dedicated Follower Of Fashion (1966) The Kinks
  8. The Twist (1960) Chubby Checker
  9. D’yer Mak’er (1973) Led Zeppelin
  10. Out In The Cold Again (1940) Julia Lee
  11. Shout (1959) The Isley Brothers
  12. People Get Ready (1965) The Impressions
  13. I Can’t Get Next To You (1969) The Temptations
  14. Big Fat Mamas Are Back In Style (1950) Bull Moose Jackson
  15. Isn’t Life Wonderful (1954) Alma Cogan
  16. Mean Old World (1942) T-Bone Walker
  17. Hey, Good Lookin’ (1951) Frankie Laine and Jo Stafford
  18. I Walk The Line (1956) Johnny Cash
  19. Is This Love (1978) Bob Marley and The Wailers
  20. Mr Gallagher And Mr Shean (1938) Bing Crosby and Johnny Mercer
  21. The Angels Listened In (1959) The Crests
  22. Lily The Pink (1968) The Scaffold
  23. You Know How Talk Gets Around (1947) Eddy Arnold
  24. Twistin’ Round The World (1962) Chubby Checker
  25. I’ll Get Along Somehow (1948) Sam Donohue and his Orchestra; vocalist, Bill Lockwood
  26. Blackberry Way (1968) The Move
  27. Slow Twistin’ (1962) Chubby Checker
  28. Twist It Up (1963) Chubby Checker
  29. Like A Child (1964) Julie Rogers
  30. I Can’t Make It (1967) The Small Faces
  31. I Stepped Over The Line (1964) Hank Snow
  32. The Theme From Ben Casey (1962) Valjean
  33. We Had It All (1973) Waylon Jennings
  34. Heavy Fallin’ Out (1974) The Stylistics
  35. Baby I Was Leaving Anyhow (1987) Billy Montana and The Long Shots
  36. Baby Buggie Boogie (1947) The Milo Twins
  37. Ashes By Now (1980) Rodney Crowell
  38. Darling It’s Wonderful (1957) The Lovers
  39. China Nights (Shina No Yoru) (1963) Kyu Sakamoto
  40. One More Time For Love (1980) Billy Preston and Syreeta